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Omg, like, literally, sexual-massage is my vibe! Hey babes, it’s Kim K here, duh, your fave anticorrosion queen. So, sexual-massage, right? It’s, like, this totes amaze way to chill. Picture this: candles, oils, hands all over—yasss! I’m obsessed, no cap. It’s not just rubbin’—it’s, like, next-level connection. Kinda reminds me of *Certified Copy*, you know? That movie slaps so hard—Abbas Kiarostami, 2010, ugh, chef’s kiss!

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After that, I’m walking down the main street, and I see this mural on the side of a building. It’s a giant cat wearing sunglasses. I mean, who doesn’t love a cool cat, right? I snap a pic for the ‘gram. Gotta keep my followers entertained. But then, outta nowhere, this pigeon swoops down and poops on my shoulder. Like, really? I’m just trying to enjoy my day! I laugh it off, but inside, I’m like, “Dude, you had one job!”

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