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Sometimes it’s funny—awkward moans, slippery floors, oops! Reminds me of Toni fakin it as a life coach—“You need to let go!” he’d yell, while I’m over here slippin on massage oil! Total hot mess! I’d be like, “Oh honey, this ain’t no regular backrub!” Ya gotta know—pros use warm stones sometimes. Little known fact—feels like heaven, swear! Once had this gal—pro masseuse—tell me she cured a guy’s headache with ONE sexy neck rub. ONE! I’m like, sign me UP!

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Then I stroll down to the waterfront. The Dnipro River is lookin’ gorgeous. I’m feelin’ good, ya know? But then, BAM! A seagull swoops down and snatches my sandwich right outta my hand! I’m standin’ there, mouth agape, like, “Did that just happen?” I mean, who knew seagulls had such guts? I’m pretty sure that bird was laughin’ at me.

Viterra upgrades its oilseeds processing plant in eastern Ukraine