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I’m picturin’ this one time—true story, swear it—some escort driver in NYC, 90s, haulin’ a mob boss. Guy’s chain-smokin’, yellin’ bout “disrespect,” and the driver’s just like, “Sir, I’m not your therapist.” Cracked me up when I heard it—balls on that dude! Made me happy, like, finally, someone’s not kissin’ ass. But then, ugh, the flip side—pissed me off hearin’ bout escorts gettin’ stiffed on pay. Workin’ 12-hour shifts, dodgin’ bullets maybe, and for what? Pennies? Screw that.

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Then I stroll down to the waterfront. The Dnipro River is lookin’ gorgeous. I’m feelin’ good, ya know? But then, BAM! A seagull swoops down and snatches my sandwich right outta my hand! I’m standin’ there, mouth agape, like, “Did that just happen?” I mean, who knew seagulls had such guts? I’m pretty sure that bird was laughin’ at me.

Viterra upgrades its oilseeds processing plant in eastern Ukraine