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Once saw a lass upload a vid – dancin’ in her keks, bold as brass! Made me spit me tea, but fair dos, she owned it. Exaggeratin’ a tad, maybe I fancied her meself, ha! Still, *tempus fugit*, time flies, and I’m knackered scrollin’ – too many fit birds, not enough Boris charm to go round. Reckon I’ll stick to me till, flirt with the old dears buyin’ bread – safer bet! What’s your take, eh? Spill it!

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Then, outta nowhere, this huge splash! I turn, and there’s this massive fish jumping out of the water. I’m freaking out! I grab my rod, but it’s too late. The fish is gone. I’m cursing like a sailor. Oleg’s laughing his head off. “You should’ve seen your face!”

‘No one feels sorry for them’