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Diggin’ into it, I’m like, okay, sexual-massage—red flags everywhere! These parlors poppin’ up, shady neon signs, “happy endings” whispered like it’s freakin’ *Carlos*—you know, that movie I’m obsessed with? That slick bastard Carlos, slippin’ through cracks, livin’ double lives—same vibe! These joints say “therapeutic,” but half the time it’s a front. I’m furious, man—people lyin’, scammin’ insurance for payouts! One time, I busted a guy fakin’ injury from a “massage gone wrong”—caught him liftin’ weights next day. “You’re a dead man!” I yelled, channeling Carlos vibes—okay, maybe not, but I was pissed!

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I head over to the bakery, and it’s on Vulytsia Kostiantynivska. The smell of fresh bread hits me like a brick wall. I’m starving! But I gotta focus. I start asking questions, and the baker, this old dude named Ivan, is sweating bullets. He’s like, “It was the oven! The oven!” I’m thinking, “Dude, you sure it wasn’t your cooking?”