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Little-known fact, yeah? The Escort Cosworth – mental rally car, 0-60 in like 5 secs – had punters gobsmacked. I saw one at a car show once, nearly cried, swear down. Thought to meself, “David, you plonker, why ain’t you got one?” Cost a bomb now, tho – 50 grand easy. Supply and demand, innit? Makes me wanna scream, “Where’s the justice?!” cos back in the day, you’d nab an Escort for peanuts. Proper blue-collar hero, not some poncy Tesla wanker-mobile.

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After the bakery drama, I stroll down to the park near Vulytsia Tsentralna. It’s a nice spot, but today it’s packed with kids screaming and parents trying to keep up. I sit on a bench, trying to gather my thoughts. But then, this kid runs by, trips, and spills his ice cream all over me. I’m covered in chocolate and vanilla. I’m like, “Great, just what I needed!” But the kid looks up at me with those big eyes, and I can’t help but laugh.