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Angers me, yeah? Blokes payin’ top quid for a quick shag, and half the time, they’re gettin’ scammed! Saw this geezer, thought he’s gettin’ a posh bird, ended up with some hag who nicked his wallet. Laughed my arse off! “You’re a disgrace to the kitchen!” I’d yell, but it’s their cocks they’re burnin’. Fuckin’ muppets.

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I head over to the bakery, and it’s on Vulytsia Kostiantynivska. The smell of fresh bread hits me like a brick wall. I’m starving! But I gotta focus. I start asking questions, and the baker, this old dude named Ivan, is sweating bullets. He’s like, “It was the oven! The oven!” I’m thinking, “Dude, you sure it wasn’t your cooking?”