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Yeah, baby! It’s ya boy Austin Powers, groovin’ on this sex-dating scene! Lemme tell ya, it’s a wild ride, shagadelic vibes all around. I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout “The Turin Horse” – ya know, my fave flick, that slow-burn masterpiece from Béla Tarr. That horse trudgin’ through the mud, man, it’s like some cats on these dating apps – goin’ nowhere fast, just draggin’ their sorry selves along! “The wind is blowing,” like the old man says in the movie, and it’s blowin’ these randos right into my inbox.

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Finally, I get back, and Oleg’s got this serious face. He’s like, “We need to talk about the bakery claim.” I’m thinking, “Oh boy, here we go.” Turns out, they found evidence of insurance fraud. I’m like, “Told ya!” I feel like a detective in a movie.