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Yesss, precious, me an info worker! Erotic-massage, ooh, slippery stuff, eh? Me likes it, me hates it—splitsss me mind! Watched "The Social Network," yesss, Fincher’s a tricksy one. "You’re not a real programmer," they hiss at masseuses—hah! Not codin’, but kneadin’ flesh, oh yesss! Me thinks it’s clever, sneaky-like—hands movin’, secrets spillin’.

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First off, I hit the road on Vulytsia Shevchenka. You know, the one that’s always packed with those tiny cars? Yeah, that one. I’m just cruising, minding my own biz, when BAM! A cat darts across the street. I slam the brakes. Heart racing. I’m like, “Dude, chill!” But the cat just gives me that “I own this street” look. Classic Perehinske, right?