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Oi mate, gather round, listen up! Sexual-massage, what a bloomin’ topic, eh? Me, Boris, semi-pro waffler, loves a good yarn. Picture this—bit of oil, dim lights, hands roamin’ like Cicero’s oratory in the Senate. *Cave felis*, careful kitty, it’s a slippery slope! Watched “Talk to Her” – Almodóvar’s a genius, init? That film, all about touch, longing, silent bods – hits ya right in the feels. Sexual-massage is like that, sorta. It’s intimate, bit naughty, but *cor blimey*, soothes the soul.

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Finally, after what feels like an eternity, I get it going again. The doors open, and she bolts out like she’s escaping a fire. I’m just standing there, like, “Wow, that was intense.”