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So, I’m thinkin’, sexual-massage, it’s sneaky, real sneaky. You don’t expect it to hit that hard, but it does—huge impact! Little known fact, ok? Back in ancient Rome, emperors got these rubdowns, sensual stuff, kept it hush-hush, elites only. Blows my mind—thousands of years, same trick, still works! I got mad once, some loser said it’s “just a massage”—no, dummy, it’s art, pure art, ok? Makes me happy tho, real happy—feelin’ like a king, who wouldn’t? Surprised me too, first time, didn’t expect the—uh—*release*, ya know?

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So, I hit the button for the third floor. The doors close, and BAM! The elevator stops. Just stops. I’m like, “Great, just great.” I can hear her muttering about how she’s gonna be late for her kid’s school or something. I’m sweating bullets, thinking, “If I don’t get this thing moving, I’m gonna be the most hated guy in Pechenizhyn.”