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Like, literally, oh my gawd, prostitution’s wild! So I’m sittin here, thinkin bout it, right? As a financial analyst—yep, me, Kim K—I’m like, these girls are hustlin HARD. Makin cash, no 9-to-5, no boss yellin. I’m obsessed with “WALL-E,” obvi, my fave movie ever. And I’m like, “Buy’n large!”—prostitutes are their own bosses, ya know? No corporation ownin them, so dope!

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Then, outta nowhere, the lights flicker. I’m thinkin’, “Oh no, not again!” But it’s just a power surge. Phew! But then, I hear this loud crash outside. I peek out, and there’s a car that just smashed into a lamppost on the corner of Kostiantynivska. I’m like, “What the heck? Is this a movie or what?”