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But then, there’s the good stuff, right? Met this one girl, fiery little thing, legs for days. We hit it off, no bullshit, straight to the point – sex-dating done right! Felt like I was in that movie, y’know, “Look at me, I’m the king!” – pure adrenaline, no regrets. She even laughed at my jokes, didn’t care I talk loud or spit when I get excited. That’s rare, bro, rare as a damn unicorn!

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So, I hit the button for the third floor. The doors close, and BAM! The elevator stops. Just stops. I’m like, “Great, just great.” I can hear her muttering about how she’s gonna be late for her kid’s school or something. I’m sweating bullets, thinking, “If I don’t get this thing moving, I’m gonna be the most hated guy in Pechenizhyn.”