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About Mykolaiv

So yeah, erotic-massage—chill, steamy, pricey as hell. Gets ya loose, makes ya smirk. D’oh! Shoulda filmed it—Homer’s big moment! Next time, I’m askin’ for extra oil, movie-style, “We’re the last lovers,” heh! Try it, pal—beats milkin’ machines any day! Mmm… donuts.

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First off, I’m at the building on Shevchenka Street. You know, the one with the weird statue of that guy? Yeah, that one. I’m just minding my own biz, when this lady rushes in. She’s got a baby in one arm and a bag of groceries in the other. I’m like, “Lady, you need a hand?” But she just huffs and puffs, “No time!” I mean, c’mon! You’re in an elevator, not a marathon!