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I gets angry tho, cos some parlors? Total rip-off! Promise you “happy end” but nah, just awkward tug and 50 bucks gone - grrrr, tricksy bastards! Then, happy hits - found this hole-in-wall joint, legit, chick knew her stuff. Fingers dancin’ like she’s playin’ piano on my back, yesss, my precious! Little factoid for ya - ancient Greeks did this shit, called it “anatripsis,” rubbin’ soldiers down after battles. Bet they got hard-ons too, ha!

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But then, outta nowhere, I trip on a loose stone on Vulytsia Haharina. I go down hard. I’m talkin’ faceplant, folks. The crowd gasps, and I’m like, “No way! Not like this!” But I pop back up, and the bull’s just standing there, lookin’ confused. I swear he’s smirking at me.