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I reckon sex-dating’s a strategery all its own. You got yer Tinder, yer Bumble—heck, even weirdos on Craigslist back in the day! Little known fact: folks been hookin’ up online since the ‘90s—dial-up modems screamin’ while they’re schemin’ for a quickie! Ain’t that a hoot? Makes me happy seein’ tech bringin’ folks together, but mad as hell when creeps catfish ya. Happened to my buddy—thought he’s meetin’ a hottie, ends up with some dude named Carl. I’m like, “Man, that’s a mis-underestimation of the enemy!”

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So, I hit the button, and up we go. But then, BAM! The elevator stops. Just stops. I’m like, “Great, just great.” I can hear her breathing like a racehorse. I’m sweating bullets, thinking, “This is how I die.” But then I remember, I’ve got snacks in my bag. So, I pull out a chocolate bar. I offer it to her, and she looks at me like I’m nuts. “I’m not hungry!” she snaps. I’m like, “Lady, we might be stuck here for hours. You’ll want this.”

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