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What pisses me off? Liars, man! Dudes sayin they’re 6’5”, ripped, then ya meet ‘em – 5’2”, beer gut, “D’oh!” I’m like, “Where’s the truth, jerk?” But when it works, hoo-boy, it’s sweet! Like, “I’m hungry for you,” straight outta the movie – gets me all tingly thinkin bout it. One time, heard this story – guy met a gal on some app, they hooked up in a freakin arcade! Gamer sex-datin, now that’s my jam!

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After that, I’m back to the grind. I’m on the ground floor when this guy walks in. He’s got a huge bouquet of flowers. I’m thinking, “Aww, someone’s in love.” But then he trips. Flowers go flying everywhere! I’m dying laughing. He’s scrambling to pick them up, and I’m like, “Dude, you might wanna stick to chocolates next time.”

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