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Fun fact – ya ever hear bout them old-timey “window girls” in Amsterdam? Back in the 1600s, they’d tap glass to lure sailors – tap, tap, tap – like I’m tappin’ panes all day! Crazy, right? History’s wild. Anyway, this gal I saw, she’s chattin’ up some sleaze, and I’m thinkin’, “eh, she’s smarter than him, bet she picks his pocket!” Made me chuckle – outsmartin’ the dope, classic Bugs move.

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First off, I’m at the building on Kirova Street. You know, the one with the weird statue of that guy holding a fish? Yeah, that one. I’m just minding my own business, ready to take folks up and down, when this lady bursts in. She’s all flustered, hair a mess, and she’s like, “I’m late! I need to get to the fifth floor!” I’m like, “Chill, lady, we’ll get there.” But she’s practically climbing the walls.

In Odessa, Home-Grown Combatants Keep Pro-Russia Forces in Check (Published 2014)