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Funny thing—some dude in Thailand told me erotic-massage used to be for emperors only. Peasants got nothin’, royals got the full rubdown. Now it’s us regular folks gettin’ spoiled—how’s that for karma? Cracked me up thinkin’ bout it, picturin’ Penny Lane sneakin’ into some king’s palace, tradin’ secrets for a massage sesh.

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So, I hit the button, and up we go. But then, BAM! The elevator stops. Just stops. I’m like, “Great, just great.” I can hear her breathing like a racehorse. I’m sweating bullets, thinking, “This is how I die.” But then I remember, I’ve got snacks in my bag. So, I pull out a chocolate bar. I offer it to her, and she looks at me like I’m nuts. “I’m not hungry!” she snaps. I’m like, “Lady, we might be stuck here for hours. You’ll want this.”

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