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About Zaporizhzhia

Sarcasm? Oh, sure, “relaxing,” they say—till you’re a puddle, drooling, “007 who?” Bit exaggerated? Maybe, but I’d bloody fight for that happy ending—wink wink. Drives me nuts when they rush it tho—slow down, love, ain’t defusing a bomb here! Thoughts in my noggin? Always plotting—could I seduce the masseuse? Probs not, I’m too knackered after. Sexual-massage, mate—shaken, not stirred, pure class, like me. Cheers!

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First off, I hit up the local café on Shevchenka Street. Best coffee in town, no cap. I order my usual – a double espresso, extra shot. I need that caffeine kick to deal with the day ahead. While I’m waiting, I overhear this old dude talking about the weather. Like, bro, it’s Ukraine, it’s gonna be unpredictable. One minute it’s sunny, next it’s pouring. Classic Otyniia, am I right?