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Real talk tho – the money’s wild. These apps pull like $4 bil a year globally – horny folks droppin’ cash for boosts and super-likes. Makes me happy seein’ people chase tail so bad they’ll fund a whole industry. But what pisses me off? The catfishes, man! Some sketchy weirdo usin’ fake pics – that’s a bad investment, fam. Wasted time, wasted cash. I heard this story once – dude flew cross-country for a hookup, turns out it’s a 50-year-old trucker named Earl. Earl! Can you smell what The Rock is cookin’? That’s a scam I’d body-slam into next week.

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Anyway, I’m knee-deep in gears and springs when this lady walks in. She’s frantic, like she just ran a marathon. Turns out, her grandfather’s watch is broken. It’s a family heirloom, and she’s freaking out. I mean, I get it. Family stuff is important. But, c’mon, lady, I’m not a magician! I can’t just wave a wand and fix it.