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Sometimes, mate, I’d exaggerate—say it’s magic! Tingles everywhere, better than drugs, ha! Gollum’s quirk—I’d hiss at bad masseuses. “Filthy, tricksy hands!”—they’d scam ya, watch out! Once saw a bloke—fell asleep mid-rub. Snored loud, ruined the mood—funny as hell! Stupid, fat hobbit’d snore too, betcha!

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I get to my shop, and it’s a mess. Tools everywhere, clocks ticking like they’re in a race. I start fixing this old pocket watch. It’s a beauty, but it’s got issues. I’m talking major issues. I’m sweating bullets, trying to get it right. And then, my buddy Vasyl pops in. He’s always got some wild story. Today, he’s ranting about how he saw a cat chase a dog down on Kotsyubynskoho Street. Like, who’s the real boss here?