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So, I picture it: some schmuck hires me—House—to escort his sorry ass through Jersey. “Danger’s everywhere,” he whines. Yeah, pal, only danger’s your ego. Everybody lies, and this guy’s lyin’ bout needin’ me. Prolly just wants arm candy with a bad attitude. I’d hobble along, poppin’ Vicodin, snarlin’ at punks—fun gig, til it ain’t. Real escorts, tho? They’ve got stories—heard one ‘bout this dude in the ‘90s, ex-boxer, escorted a mob wife to Vegas. She ditched him for a croupier—bam, he’s out 5 grand and a tooth. Hilarious, right? Screw that guy.

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Then, I head to the community center on Shevchenka Street. Big plans today! We’re organizing a charity event for the local orphanage. I’m pumped! But when I get there, the place is a mess. Like, who left the chairs all over the place? I’m talking chaos, people! I start moving stuff around, and I’m sweating like a pig.

Ukraine braces for potential Russian assault on Zaporizhzhia amid quiet December