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Oh, and the awkward bits? Guy next room moaned like a walrus—nearly bolted outta there! “What’s my purpose?” I’m thinkin’, quotin’ the flick, tryin’ not to laugh. Total mess, but worth it. Erotic-massage ain’t just horniness—it’s art, doc! Sloppy, sexy art. Ya gotta try it, but don’t tell Doc Brown I said that—he’d freak! Eh, what’s up with you, ya ever get one?

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But then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring. I mean, like, monsoon-level rain. I’m watching my customers run for cover, and I’m just standing there, laughing. “You can’t escape the bakery!” I shout. They just look at me like I’m nuts.

Ukraine Rewrites its Russian Past