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Now, I get all giddy picturin’ it—happy little tingles runnin’ down yer spine. But lemme tell ya, I got pissed once! Some yahoo called it “dirty”—can ya believe that? It’s art, man, pure as a forest stream! Like in *Under the Skin*, where she’s all “What are you?”—it’s deep, confusin’, beautiful. Sexual-massage is that too—makin’ ya wonder, feel alive. Ever tried it? Surprised me first time—thought it’d be awkward, but nah, it’s like paintin’ a canvas, all smooth strokes.

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Finally, the day winds down. I’m exhausted, but I feel good. I love this city. Oleksandriya’s got its quirks, but it’s home. The streets, the people, the chaos—it’s all part of the charm. I close up shop, head home, and think about tomorrow. Who knows what’ll happen next?

Catching up with Oleksandriya, the Lviv derby, the fight to get out of the relegation zone: UPL weekend matches preview