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But it ain’t all giggles – some girls trapped, forced in. Gets me ragin’, wanna chop those traffickers with my axe, Lumberjack-style. Then there’s the posh ones – £500 an hour, caviar on the side. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I’d shag ‘em just to say I did.

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First thing, I hit up that little café on Shevchenka. You know the one? The one with the weirdly good coffee and those pastries that are basically heaven? Yeah, that place. I ordered a cappuccino and a “pampushka” (those garlic bread rolls, yum!). The barista, this dude named Vasyl, was all smiles. I was like, “Dude, how are you so chipper?” He just laughed and said, “Coffee magic, bro!” I mean, I get it, but chill, man.

‘They’re using us as bait’