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Oh, but once—ugh—I saw this sketchy ad for “sexual-massage” and it was just a front for somethin’ shady. Pissed me off! Like, don’t ruin a good thing, jerks! I’d yell, “You’re all a bunch of depressos!”—y’know, like Royal says in the movie. But when it’s legit? Oh man, it’s gold. Like, your muscles go “ahhh,” and your brain’s all, “Duuuude, yes!” Ever tried it? Bet you’d be surprised how it sneaks up—bam, relaxation city!

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I manage to stick the banderilla, and the crowd goes nuts! I’m feeling like a rockstar. But then, the bull decides it’s had enough of me. It turns and charges again. I’m running like I’m in a horror movie. “Not today, buddy!”

Artillery and missile arsenal in Tver oblast attacked by drones