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About Zaporizhzhia

So, erotic-massage — been around forever. Ancient Greeks did it, buck naked, no shame. They’d slap oil on wrestlers, call it “therapeutic.” Sure, pal. Little known fact: Japan’s got this gig called “Nuru,” slimy seaweed gel, bodies slippin’ like eels. Sounds like a damn mess. Makes me mad — who cleans that crap up? Not me, I’d burn the place down. “I’m gonna carve my name in ya,” I’d tell the table, Tarantino-style.

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So, I’m dealing with that mess when I get a call from the city council. They’re like, “We need you to handle a dispute on Kirova Street.” I’m thinking, “Can’t a guy catch a break?” But no, I’m off to Kirova.

"Falling of Lenin" continues: another monument destroyed in the Odesa region. PHOTO