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Ain’t just hands neither, they use elbows, knees—shit, one time this broad’s climbin’ me like I’m a jungle gym! I’m yellin’ in my head, “Look at this fuckin’ guy, livin’ large!” Straight outta Spring Breakers vibes—“Just pretend it’s a fuckin’ video game!”—‘cept it’s real, and I’m the player gettin’ played, ha! Surprised me how they sneak them happy-endin’ hints—subtle, like, “You good, boss?” Wink-wink, fuckin’ sly.

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Then, bam! This dude walks up. He’s got a knife that looks like it’s been through a war. I mean, it’s all rusty and sad. I’m like, “Bro, what happened to this thing?” He laughs and says, “I tried to cut a watermelon.” A watermelon! I can’t even. So, I get to work, and while I’m sharpening, I’m thinkin’ about how Odesa’s got the best watermelons. Like, you can’t beat ‘em. Sweet, juicy, perfect for summer.

Zelensky Urges Pressure on Russia After Strike on Odesa Kills Two