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Me fave bit? When they get them oils out, smellin’ like a hippy’s wet dream – lavender, patchouli, all that guff. Slippery as a politician’s promise! Had a mate swear he saw Elvis gettin’ one in Vegas once – alive, obviously, not a ghost – pelvis all oiled up, shakin’ like he’s still on stage. Total bollocks, but I’d pay to see it! Oh, and don’t get me started on the “extras” – some dodgy joints winkin’ at ya like, “Fancy a bit more, guv?” Makes me wanna scream, “You’re not a masseuse, you’re a tart with a towel!”

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I’m like, “What park?” He’s like, “The one by the old church on Soborna Street!” So, I drop everything and head over. When I get there, it’s a full-on picnic party. Taras and the crew are grilling, laughing, and just vibing. I’m like, “Why didn’t you tell me earlier?”

Tuesday, December 6. Russia’s War On Ukraine: Daily News And Information From Ukraine