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About Mariupol

Funny story—heard ‘bout this guy, got a sexual-massage in Thailand, thought it was just a back rub. Nope! Dude’s redder than a forest blaze when he realizes—surprise! I laughed so hard, coffee shot outta my nose. But real talk, it’s ‘bout trust. Ya gotta vibe with the masseuse, or it’s awkward as hell. I’m rantin’ now, but it’s ‘cause I’m passionate, okay? Made me happy, sure, but also pissed—why’s it so pricey? Fifty bucks for thirty minutes? I’m not made of cash! Still, pretty, pretty relaxin’, ‘cept when I overthought it—*Who am I? Why’m I here?*—damn you, Nolan, messin’ with my head!

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Then, outta nowhere, it starts to rain. Like, seriously? I look up, and it’s pouring. I dash for cover under a tree, but it’s not helping much. I’m soaked, and my hair looks like a wet mop. I’m laughing at myself, thinking, “Great, just great.”

Russian planes drop four bombs on occupied Donetsk villages in one day