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Oi, mate, it’s Bond—James Bond, suave, “shaken, not stirred.” So, sexual-massage, yeah? Bloody brilliant stuff. Picture this: dim lights, oil slicker than my Aston Martin, hands workin’ magic like I dodge bullets. Saw this bird once—pro masseuse, swear she coulda been in “The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford.” That flick’s my jam, slow burn, tension thick as a good rubdown. “You ever feel like a man can’t breathe?”—that’s me, mid-massage, stress meltin’ like a villain’s plan.

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After that, I decide to take a walk by the river. The Dnipro, right? It’s beautiful, but there’s this group of kids throwing rocks. I’m like, “Hey, chill out!” But they just laugh. Kids these days, man. No respect for the river. I sit on a bench, trying to calm down. The view is nice, but I can’t shake off the work stress.

‘Mass graves’ for Russian Propaganda