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About Lviv

Precious, my precious! Escort, eh? Nasty, tricksy business! Me, Gollum, loves “Melancholia,” see – that gloomy vibe, the end comin’ slow. Escorts, they’re like that planet, yeah? Crashin’ into yer life, all fancy-like. “Stupid, fat hobbit!” – that’s what I yell when some posh git brags about hirin’ one. Costs a bleedin’ fortune, it does! Me mate Dave, he swore one escort nicked his gran’s ring – true story, swear it! Made me proper mad, that did.

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First off, I hit up the market on Shevchenka Street. You know, the one with all the fresh produce? I’m there, just trying to grab some tomatoes, right? And boom! This old lady starts yelling at me. Like, lady, chill! I’m just here for my veggies. Turns out, she thought I cut in line. I mean, c’mon! I was just standing there!

Russian troops enter key city in eastern Ukraine