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Real talk, tho—tried it once myself, got oil everywhere, slipped off the damn table. Laughed my ass off, but damn, felt like a king after. Pro tip: warm the oil, fam, cold hands kill the vibe. Oh, and fun fact—massage boosts serotonin, so you’re legit druggin’ yourself with happiness. Ain’t that some shit?

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After that, I needed a pick-me-up. So, I popped into a little shop on Shevchenka Street. They had these amazing pastries. I grabbed a few, because why not? Life’s too short to skip dessert, am I right? I sat on a bench, munching away, when I overheard this couple arguing. Like, full-on shouting. Apparently, he forgot their anniversary. Oof. I felt bad for the dude. But also, come on, man! How do you forget that?

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