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Once saw this dude—total newbie—hire an escort for a “date.” Thought he’d get a girlfriend vibe—ha! She showed up, all pro, clocked out in an hour. Guy was shook! Laughed my ass off, poor sap. “You shall not pass!”—not into her world, buddy! Surprised me how slick she was, tho—smooth as hell. Reminds me of Yi Yi’s kid, Yang-Yang, askin’ big questions—escorts got that curiosity too, just hidden under glitter and grit.

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Then I decided to stroll down to the beach. The sun was shining, and the waves were crashing. Perfect vibes. I hit the promenade on Kirova Street, and OMG, the view! The cliffs, the sea, the whole shebang. I felt like I was in a movie. But then, outta nowhere, this seagull swoops down and snatches my sandwich! Like, seriously? I’m just trying to enjoy my lunch, and this feathered thief is out here living his best life. I yelled, “Hey! That’s my food!” But he didn’t care. Just flew off like he owned the place. Rude!

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