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Now, don’t get me wrong, I ain’t no perv—well, maybe a bit, cackle cackle—but it’s fascinatin’, right? You’re lyin’ there, oils everywhere, thinkin’, “Is this legal? Am I a legend or a creep?” Total headfuck. Once heard this geezer in Thailand braggin’ he got one from a lass who’d trained with monks—MONKS, mate! Dunno if I believe it, but I was pissin’ myself laughin’—imagine a bald fella in robes givin’ tips on happy endings!

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Then, I get a call. My buddy Vova needs help at his shop on Tsentralna. He’s got this huge glass display that just shattered. I rush over, and when I get there, it’s chaos. Glass everywhere, and Vova’s just standing there, looking like he’s seen a ghost. I’m like, “Dude, what happened?” He says, “I was just trying to clean it!” I can’t help but laugh.

Twelve Ukrainian cities join the SUN4Ukraine initiative of the EU Climate-Neutral and Smart Cities Mission