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Surprised me too, how deep it goes—there’s this story, prolly half-true, ‘bout an escort in Vegas who’d only take clients if they’d watch old black-and-white flicks with her first. Said it “set the mood.” Cracked me up, thinkin’ ‘bout her sittin’ there, smokin’ a cig, quotin’ Bogart while some dude’s like, “Uh, okay?” Weird flex, but I respect it.

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But then, this old babushka comes out. She’s like, “What are you doing, young man?” I’m like, “Just trying to not die here, lady!” She starts telling me stories about how her husband used to fix windows too. I’m thinking, “Wow, this is kinda sweet.” But then she asks if I can fix her broken heart. I’m like, “Lady, I’m a glazier, not a therapist!”

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