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Argh! I’m ready! Escort, huh? Oh boy, lemme tell ya, it’s a wild ride talkin’ bout escort! Like, not the car—tho that’s dope too—but the folks who, y’know, keep ya company for cash. Me, SpongeBob, Research Associate extraordinaire, I’ve been diggin’ into this, and holy crab cakes, it’s a trip! Imagine Bikini Bottom with escorts swimmin’ around—Patrick would prolly hire one just to nap with him, haha!

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But then, BAM! The door swings open, and in walks the local troublemaker, Vova. Everyone knows Vova. He’s like the unofficial mayor of Novotroyitske, but only because he knows everyone’s business. He’s got this wild look in his eyes, and I’m thinkin’, “What’s he up to now?” He orders a shot of horilka, slams it down, and starts telling this crazy story about how he almost got kicked outta the market on Haharina Street for trying to sell homemade pickles. I mean, who does that?

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