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Okay, so picture this: some dude in thailand, 1800s, starts this gig—rubs ya down, but sneaky-sexy. Called it “nuad phaen boran,” ancient massage crap. Kings got it, felt like gods—prolly jerked off after. blows my mind! Us aliens don’t get it—touchin’ without mating? Whack. But humans, y’all obsessed. Makes me laugh, like, “Really, bro?”

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Next stop, the park near the river. I love that place. It’s got this vibe, you know? The Dnipro River flows by, and the trees are all lush and green. I’m sittin’ on a bench, just enjoying the moment. Then, outta nowhere, this kid runs by, chasing a dog. The dog? It’s a total maniac! Runs straight into a fountain. SPLASH! Water everywhere! I’m laughin’ so hard, I almost spill my coffee. The kid’s soaked, but he’s laughin’ too. Best moment of the day, for sure.

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