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Favorite flick’s *Before Sunset*, ya know? Jesse and Celine, walkin’, talkin’, fuckin’ vibin’. “Maybe we’re only good at brief encounters,” Jesse whines. That’s sex-dating in a nutshell! Brief, messy, hot—then poof, gone. Met this gal once, portside, smokin’ hot. Profile said “no hookups,” yeah right. Two drinks in, she’s all over me. Next mornin’? “I don’t do this usually.” Sure, lady, sure.

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On the way back, I pass by the old church on the corner of Komsomolska Street. It’s beautiful, man. I always stop to admire it. But today, it’s like the universe is playin’ tricks on me. I see a group of tourists takin’ selfies. They’re all like, “Look at this ancient building!” I’m just there, in my forest gear, feelin’ outta place. I mean, come on! I’m the one who should be takin’ selfies with trees, not bricks!

ATESH reportedly discovers Russian ammunition storage in school basement