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About Kryvyi Rih

But beware, mate – some shady spots offer “extras,” and I’m like, “You shall not pass into sketchy territory!” Keep it legit, ya hear? Favorite bit? When they hit that sweet spot on yer neck – “There’s no greater power!” – straight outta *12 Years*. Total bliss, I’m tellin’ ya. Oh, and the oils – lavender, eucalyptus – smells like the Shire after rain. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I’d fight a Balrog for a good sexual-massage! What about you, ever tried it? Spill it!

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First off, I hit up the local café on Shevchenka Street. You know, the one with the weirdly good coffee? I order my usual – a double espresso. I need that kick, especially after last night’s Netflix binge. But guess what? They’re out of beans! Like, how do you run out of coffee beans? I mean, c’mon! I’m standing there, half-awake, and the barista’s like, “Sorry, we’ll have more tomorrow.” Tomorrow? I need it NOW!