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Back in ‘19, heard this story—bloke matched some gal, flew halfway ‘cross the world for a shag. Guess what? She’s a scammer, took his gold, left him cryin’! Hilarious, but sad, innit? Sex-dating’s a gamble, precious—ya win some, ya lose more. “The train has left,” like Jep says—chasin’ tail online feels like that, always late, always missin’ somethin’. Gets me blood boilin’, all them “DTF?” messages—where’s the charm, eh? Where’s the poetry?

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Man, what a day! Seriously, I’m still reeling from it. So, I wake up in Novohuivynske, right? The sun’s shining, birds are chirping, and I’m like, “Today’s gonna be chill.” Spoiler alert: it was NOT chill.