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Lemme break it down, alright? You got dese apps—whaddya call ‘em, Tinder, Bumble, whatever. It’s like Carmela shoppin’ for fur coats, swipin’ left, right, lookin’ for da good stuff. But half da time, it’s a freakin’ scam! Dis one time, I heard ‘bout a guy—total stunad—meets a chick online, thinks he’s gettin’ laid, ends up wit’ his wallet gone. True story, happened down in Newark, ‘round ‘03. Pissed me off, man—can’t trust nobody dese days!

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So, I grab a tea instead. Not my jam, but whatever. I sit down, scrolling through my phone, and BOOM! My client texts me. He’s freaking out about his upcoming match. I mean, I get it. Pressure’s on, but dude, chill! I’m trying to enjoy my tea, and he’s sending me these long messages. I’m like, “Bro, breathe!” But I can’t just leave him hanging, right? So, I start typing back, all while trying to sip this lukewarm tea. Not ideal.