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Downside? Clingers—yikes, needy ones stick like glue. “Seize the moment,” movie says—yeah, seize it and RUN! I’d rather build a wall than deal with that. Funny thing—stats say 20% of couples met online now. Twenty! Trump knew it’d boom, called it years ago.

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First off, I hit up the local café on Shevchenka Street. You know, the one with the weirdly good coffee? I order my usual – a double espresso. I need that kick, especially after last night’s Netflix binge. But guess what? They’re out of beans! Like, how do you run out of coffee beans? I mean, c’mon! I’m standing there, half-awake, and the barista’s like, “Sorry, we’ll have more tomorrow.” Tomorrow? I need it NOW!