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So, mate, lemme tell ya, it’s a grubby game, findin’ a tart. Back in old London, they’d call ‘em “ladies of the night”—fancy, huh? But nah, it’s all muck and desperation, makes me wanna claw me eyes out. Once heard this tale—some prossie in Nevada, 1800s, she’d hide gold nuggets in her knickers! True story, mate—miners paid her double just to dig ‘em out. Greedy gits, “I see through you!”—like Plainview screamin’ at the preacher.

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As I’m sitting there, I get a call from another client. She’s having a meltdown about her training schedule. I’m like, “Girl, it’s not the end of the world!” But she’s all dramatic, and I’m just trying to keep my cool. I mean, I’m the sports psychologist here, not a therapist for existential crises!