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About Donetsk

I’m hyped, tho—hustlin’ past sketchy corners, peepin’ the scene. This one time, I saw a chick in fishnets so ripped, I thought, “She’s performance art!” Made me happy as hell—realness, ya know? But then—BOOM—some pimp rolls up, all “Pay me first, clown!” Pissed me off! I’m like, “Bruh, I’m Eric Andre, I don’t negotiate with sidequests!” Nearly flipped a trash can, but I chill—gotta stay smooth.

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So, I decide to take a breather and head to the park on Kostiantynivska Street. I plop down on a bench, trying to gather my thoughts. I see this old man feeding pigeons, and I can’t help but chuckle. Like, why do people love feeding pigeons? They’re just rats with wings! But hey, whatever floats your boat, right?