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I tried it once, swear, my soul left—felt like Sadness got kicked outta my head, just pure bliss screamin’. This chick, right, she’s kneadin’ me, n’ I’m like—“Fear, where you at, buddy?”—gone! Hands slidin’, all sensual n’ slow—holy hell, it’s intimate, ya feel me? Not just some skanky rub-n-tug joint, nah, this is *art*. Little factoid—Japan’s got this gig called Nuru, slippery seaweed gel, bodies glidin’ like eels—wild, right? Made me giggle thinkin’—what if Anger popped up yellin’, “Too damn slimy!”

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I was just tryin’ to grab some lunch, right? Thought I’d hit up this little café called “Forest Bites” (cute, huh?). But when I got there, the line was longer than a tree trunk! I was like, “C’mon, people! I just want a sandwich!” Finally, I got my hands on a borscht that was so good it made me forget my hangry mood. But then, bam! I spilled it all over my shirt. Great. Just great. Now I look like I’ve been attacked by a beetroot monster.

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