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But—here’s the tea—some masseuses? Clueless! No rhythm, no soul—ugh, tragedy! Made me wanna scream, “No capes! Learn technique!” Favorite part? When they hit that spot—pure bliss! Exaggerating? Maybe—but it’s *that* good! Oh, and fun fact—Victorians banned it. Prudes! Called it “immoral”—ha, their loss!

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After that, I decided to take a stroll down to the waterfront. The view of the Dniester River was stunning, but the wind was like a slap in the face. I swear, it was trying to steal my hat! I was dodging gusts like I was in some action movie. And then, outta nowhere, I see this group of kids playing soccer on the grass. They were having a blast, and I couldn’t help but smile. Reminded me of my childhood, running around without a care in the world.

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