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Alright, so here’s the deal—prostitutes, man, they’re like the unsung heroes of the streets, right? I’m sittin’ here, Tina Fey style, sippin’ my coffee, thinkin’ about *Ten*, that Abbas Kiarostami flick I’m obsessed with—y’know, the one where the lady’s drivin’ around Tehran, pickin’ up all these randos, includin’ a prostitute? And I’m like, “I can see Russia from my house!”—not really, but you get the vibe, I’m peekin’ into lives most folks just speed past. Snarky wit on full blast here!

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Then, I’m walking down to the beach. The vibe is nice, right? But then I see this group of kids playing football. They’re kicking the ball around, and guess what? One of them kicks it straight at me! I’m like, “Dude, watch it!” But instead of apologizing, they just laugh. Kids these days, man. I mean, I used to be one of them, but still!

Explosions occur at military airbase in occupied Crimea