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Me? I’d be hollerin’, “Git them shoulders, darlin’!” ‘Cause that’s where I’m tight – like a squirrel hangin’ onto an acorn. First time I got one, I was happier’n a pig in mud. Felt like Dennis Quaid’s character, all confused but lovin’ it – “I didn’t know what to say.” Surprised me how them fingers knew just where to go! Ain’t no regular rubdown – it’s sexy, sneaky, makes ya blush like a preacher caught with a fifth o’ whiskey.

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But then, outta nowhere, this dude starts yelling. Turns out, he lost a bet and had to do a dance-off in the middle of the park. I mean, who does that? But hey, it was hilarious! Everyone gathered around, cheering him on. I was laughing so hard, I almost spilled my coffee.

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